Simplicity

      I have been traveling in the Philippines for a little more than a week. I was first in Bohol with ICM leading a trip with another ICM staff member. It was quite a memorable first trip as a typhoon came into Hong Kong and we were stranded in Manila until flights got back up and running. It was my first trip to the Philippines and was great to see all the help ICM is providing, but also see how much more work is needed. After that trip I went to Cebu for an ICM livelihood conference discussing the most practical and effective ways to combat poverty financially. I was blown away by how passionate the 100 ICM livelihood trainers are and how committed they are to helping their local communities more toward a more sustainable future. The Filipino people are incredible. They are continually smiling regardless of the situation and love to laugh. I’m pretty sure I heard more public laughter the first day in the Philippines than I did in my three plus weeks in HK.

     Since the conference ended, I have been able to spend some time in Cebu and see more of the Philippines. I have been able to see a lot of cool stuff in all of the traveling, but it has also been difficult at times. Especially in the past several days I have had lots of time to myself to think. In this the Lord has revealed a lot about myself that I honestly don’t like. It is always a difficult, painful, and humbling process to come face to face with the brokenness of the world and then reflect inwardly and see the brokenness in yourself. It’s so easy to direct that brokenness into anger, guilt, fear; whatever it might be. Instead of simply focusing on Christ and I’m in the process of simplifying my faith.

Fear

          I was able to relax for the first time since I have been in Hong Kong yesterday. I was able to relax, go on a bike ride, and watch some Office episodes, it was honestly so needed. The past several weeks have been filled with more uncomfortable situations than I can count. From being much taller than most, smashed in with others on the train with absolutely no personal space, to just pointing at something on a menu to order, the number of uncomfortable situations has easily outnumbered the comfortable. But that is nothing compared to what has made me the most uncomfortable.

            I have to be completely vulnerable right now... I hate/fear snakes... probably more than I rationally should, but for whatever reason I can’t stand them and they freak me out. That being said, every night when I take the bus it’s about a five-minute walk from the stop to the house. Before the bus has even stopped I being to think about the walk; a long driveway in what is basically the jungle, possible snakes hiding behind every corner. Ironically enough I have learned a lot from this short walk. The walk gets me thinking about a lot about fear as I am forced to face one of my own. And I have begun to think about where fear comes from. I think it often boils down to my lack of understanding that Jesus loves me. It’s funny how the Lord has used a quick walk to remind me that I have nothing to fear and that even though fear might not go away, I can push through and do what needs to be done regardless. 

Transitions

   I moved to a new temporary place on Saturday and am now a bit out of the city of Hong Kong. It’s can seem like a jungle and is pretty sweet (there are monkeys.., and unfortunately large snakes as well). The family I lived with has been so generous and have even set me up with a road bike that I can use while I am there. I have been continually blown away by how generous people have been to give me this opportunity. From friends in the states to families here in Hong Kong, the support has been incredible and much needed. The transition has been difficult and the newness of Hong Kong wore out a bit and I was left missing friends.

   To be quite honest, I have had a very hard time being present here the past week. I spent much of my time dreaming how about life back in the US. This led to me being very unsatisfied and deeply questioning why I am here. I have been convicted that I need to be investing where I am regardless of how I feel. With lots of time to myself this past weekend the Lord was present in that time to convict but also remind of his love... And I got to road bike today which was my favorite thing I've done since I've been here.

Also here is a picture of my typical commute:

Trust

     This past week has been very difficult. Monday started off with the bad news a close friend’s wife was paralyzed and that another good friend’s sister’s baby died 10 hours after birth. This news came as quite a shock and was incredibly difficult to process. Then on tuesday I got very sick and have spent the past several days sleeping off the sickness.

     The few hours over the past few days I have spent awake have been filled with so much doubt. It has been so easy to question what I’m doing here or question why such crappy stuff happens in this world. It seems I'm in season of life where I am in the slow process of learning to trust the Lord even in the midst of such deep pain and unknown. 

      I don't know a lot but what I do know is that I serve a loving God and that this will be a season of growth, growth that will not be easy.

All the new things

         I don’t think I have ever been in a position where I have felt like I have known so little. I have spent most of the week slightly overwhelmed by pretty much everything. From learning a new job to learning how to live in a huge city and getting lost every time I come back to the house from work.  I have been incredibly blessed with a place to stay for the past week. A Kivu family has generously extended me a room to sleep in for the past week and it has been much needed.

         Hong Kong actually shares many similarities with many US cities, people are very driven and time oriented... and they have McDonalds, thankfully. There are also some differences that are taking getting used to. Hong Kong is very compact and 90% of the population uses public transportation, so I’m slowly learning to navigate the bus and train system. I have yet to get to and from work successfully. The past three days I have gotten lost coming back and end up taking a Taxi back to the place I am staying. I am still very excited for my time here and really enjoying all of the new experiences.

Airplane Thoughts

            I’m writing this sitting in the exit row on my flight to Hong Kong, alternating between excitement and nervousness. I have very few expectations for what the next nine months will look like. The two expectations I do have are that: this is going to be hard; and I’m going to learn a ton. And even though expectations are completely vague, but I’m ok with that now.

I would like to think that I’m ready, but I have a feeling that my world is going to drastically change; and honestly that scares me just as much as it excites me. For the first time in my life I can honestly say I have no clue what the next year holds. Not that I had ever known what was going to happen, but every year up until this point I have known that I would have a year of school in front of me and that was comfortable. Now, I’m uncomfortable. Basically I don’t know what I feel right now and I’m not a fan.